Inside the Mind of Tony Robbins

How do you get your voice to be heard amongst 8 billion people? And I think it’s more than just getting your voice heard. It’s really developing the skill of leadership.

If you try to define leadership, everyone has different definitions. But I think what makes somebody a leader is the ability to influence the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, and the actions of another human being for a greater good. Obviously, you can do that for not a greater good, you’re a leader, but not what I would consider to be a quality leader; you’re certainly not a leader of integrity. And how does someone do that? How do you lead someone? How do you really influence them to do more than they would do if you weren’t there? That’s the leader’s job.

Well, it’s not about being in a position of being a manager. Managers are great, and managers can have some form of influence. But a manager is like a supervisor; they get people to do things while they’re there. A leader gets the individuals they lead to raise their standards so that when you’re not there, they continue to perform at a higher and higher level. That’s really, I think, the secret.

And how do you know how to influence people? Well, everyone is so different. The mistake that so many people make is they try to lead people the way that works for them. Even with your own kids, if you try to get them to clean their room and it’s not working, it’s probably because you’re using what would have worked on you. We’re all different. So in order to influence another human being, you’ve got to know what already influences them. You’ve got to know what they value, what they believe, what their rules are, and what their expectations are.

Some of the greatest leaders I’ve had the chance to work with over the decades — from Mikhail Gorbachev or somebody like Stormin’ Norman (former U.S. Army Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf), or you look around and see someone like Ray Dalio or just anybody you could imagine; I’ve been with Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, every living president — all of them have different styles and approaches. But somehow, the very best are able to influence people from various walks of life; they’re able to enter their world.